I just had the pleasurable … unfortunate … experience of visiting … dealing with … a local auto repair shop, needing someone to repair my brake lights. I did some homework first, of course, checking out their website. I was specifically looking for two things: electrical expertise and open on Saturdays. There it was. They had both. So I threw on my ball cap and headed over.

Gary, my "highly trained" mechanic.

My online experience of the company was promising and positive. My in-person experience … was not. Here are a number of specific phrases used and promises made on their website and my subsequent assessment.

“When you want expert car repair … come to the best … we have highly trained on-site mechanics.” [FAIL] To be fair, they indeed performed auto repairs and did have an on-site mechanic … who arrived fifteen minutes late that morning. I know he was late because I arrived right as they were opening and the office manager – one of two people there at the time – reported that he was en route and would arrive shortly.

Let’s talk about Gary for a moment. In his mid-50s, Gary has been working on cars since he was 13. After spending nearly four hours myself on-site that Saturday morning “helping” him investigate the source of my problem, I’m convinced the new-fangled world of high-precision computerized vehicles has left him behind. But he could certainly chain smoke Pall Mall with the best of them and talk quite a bit about how well he could hold his liqueur. I would not, however, put him in the “highly trained” or “professional” category of specialists.

“[Name of Establishment] is considered a rare gem, an authentic jewel, among the throngs of auto repair businesses in the DFW area.” [FAIL] True, competition is fierce in a big city. What’s rare is the use of such stupid poetic language on a website to describe an auto repair shop. They were clearly neither a rare gem nor authentic jewel, but rather the embodiment of every stereotypical portrayal of hick-town grease monkeys you see in the movies.

“Secure on-site vehicle storage” [FAIL] During my visit into the office I noticed a small box in plain view containing a product called “Imitation Security Camera.” Enough said.

“Finally! An honest mechanic.” [PASS] I do believe, throughout the course of this five-day ordeal, that I was never lied to about costs nor misled to believe something that wasn’t true. In fact, I was able to save some money by going with used parts at half the cost of new ones. Overall, however, they were honestly slow, unskilled, and decidedly over-priced for the level of quality service they provide their customers.

“Why didn’t you just leave?” Because my car needed to be fixed just as those visiting our churches for the first time need God. I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and happened to regret that decision.

Using flowery language and making lofty claims on your website and printed materials do not make them true. Actions behind the words make them true. Deliver on your claims.